Bisquits
by Chikyuu-Chan
Summary: During a visit to Arthur's place, Alfred stumbles upon some English biscuits. USUK.


"Hey, Iggs, you got any good stuff in here?"

The older nation heaved an annoyed sigh "First off, don't look through my cupboards without my permission, and secondly, don't call me "Iggs"."

America turned to him, smirking slightly "Why not? Does it get on your nerves or something?"

"Very much so. Now get out of my pantry, you git."

Alfred stepped out, but not before proceeding to grab as many packets of biscuits as he could before doing so, "Ah, English bis-quits, huh?"

"...What?" England blinked a couple of times, thinking he had misheard.

"...English bis-quits?"

"...Why are you saying it like that?"

America blinked, the packets rustling as he put them on the surface of the table "Like what?"

"...Say biscuits."

"...Bis-quits?"

England gave him a puzzled look, folding his arms "You're pronouncing it wrong. It's "bis-kits", not "bis-quits"."

"...I don't see how it's different..." the American noted, proceeding to open a packet of Custard Creams, and sliding it out.

England gave up, knowing how battling with Alfred's stupidity would get him absolutely nowhere, and sat down opposite him "Oi, don't eat all of them now, let me have a few, won't you?"

"Yeah, yeah! Calm down old man." After getting bored of the Creams, he proceeded to open a packet of Bourbons.

"Alfred, don't open all of them!"

"But I wanna know what each of them taste like..."

Arthur furrowed his brows "Fine, but wrap them up properly when you put them away. I don't want them to go stale..."

"Lighten up!" Alfred insisted, opening yet another packet, spilling crumbs on the table. He took one out and inspected it "...Oreos?"

"...No, you twit, those are Jammy Dodgers."

"Oh! So they have jam in them?"

"I thought you would have gotten that from the name..."

"Well, I dunno, jam could mean anything over here. You Brits are weird like that."

"Why do you think it's called "English", idiot? You yanks were the ones who messed with it!"

But Alfred wasn't listening to Arthur's rant, for he had taken a bite out of one half of the jam filled biscuit, tugged to snap it off and found that the red substance in the centre was so sticky that it had stretched out of the other side, leaving America having to pull quite hard to actually get it into his mouth.

England glared as crumbs fell on to his tidy floor "You make such a mess of my place, Alfred".

"Hm? Well, it's not my fault! This stupid bisquit is really hard to eat!"

"Stop pronouncing it like that! I just know you're doing that to get my goat!"

"What do goats have to do with this, dude?"

The Englishman slapped his own forehead, very irked "You are such a fool, you know that?"

Alfred picked up another Jammy Dodger in his hand, looking at it in thought "...Hey! I know!" He put it between his teeth, and said, in a slightly muffled voice from having is vocal passage cut off "Bi tah oha en!"

"...Pardon?"

He took it out of his mouth, sighing "Bite the other end."

"...P-pardon?"

"You heard me, Limey. Bite the other end and then pull. Then I won't make such a mess and we both get one half each! C'mon!"

Arthur shook his head vigorously, a blush forming on his cheeks "I'm not doing it!"

"C'mooon!" Alfred whined. "What have you got to loose here?"

"I-I- I'm not doing it Alfred, alright?"

The American pouted, and proceeded to then bite into the lonely Dodger, spilling yet more crumbs on to the floor. Arthur gave a slight twitch but otherwise ignored it.

After a moment or two, England reached into the packet to pull out his own biscuit. Taking it in his mouth, he was about to take a bite when America reached across the table and bit into the other end.

In embarrassment and shock, Arthur, instead of dropping the Dodger out of his mouth bit into it hard, making a small crunching noise.

The American gave a small laugh in his throat, pulling away with his own half of the biscuit and chewing it.

Arthur, his mouth full, spiting crumbs out of his mouth cried "What the bloody hell, Alfred!"

"...You're the one making a mess now, Arthur."

The Englishman, blushing bright red, closed his mouth and proceeded to swallow, folding his arms and huffing "Idiot..."

"Haha, you're almost as red as the jam on your face. Here..." He reached a hand across to gently wipe the red substance off Arthur's lower lip.

His green eyes widened slightly, his blush becoming more pronounced, giving a little gasp. Once America took his hand away, smirking, England glared right at him and cried "You really are an idiot, Alfred!"

"Yeah, but you should be glad I'm being tidy for once, Iggs~"

"DON'T CALL ME "IGGS"!"


End file.
